It’s drawing so close to the end of the year. At the end of it, the typical new years’ depression can set in – a depression wrought by all the resolutions for 2016 that never came about. I, for one, love to write lists at the beginning of the year. In the past I have often been fanciful, and even unrealistic. But as each year passes and the list does not dwindle, I lower the bar a little. I come a little further down to earth.

Being a person who constantly has their head in the clouds, it has not been easy. There have been many sleepless (even teary, even angry) nights where I have been filled with an endless frustration over my inability to complete those resolutions.

This year, however, I completed one and I am close to completing another. They are two items that have been on my list for years. The first was to quit my soul-destroying job and find a job I like. Believe it or not (and some days, I still cannot quite believe it), I found a job I am good at, and that I like, with people I enjoy working with and who seem to like working with me. I worked hard for it, don’t get me wrong. From the beginning of the year I was determined, and it was not until months later that I was successful. I applied for hundreds of jobs, and only from a handful of those did I receive interviews. But still, I did it.

“You rarely win, but sometimes you do.”

– Harper Lee

The next resolution, one that I am on the very precipice of completing, is to finish the draft for my novel ‘Wanted’. I have been writing it for the last five years, since my last year of University. I have been afraid that I had held onto it for too long, like another of my long-term projects. But this year, my determination seems to be winning over my self-doubt. I wrote a large chunk of it in NaNoWriMo and am left with nothing more than a few thousand words to write. With two weeks left until the years’ end, I know that I can finish it.

Maybe, to some, two goals achieved does not seem like much. But to me, it means everything. With every challenge I face, every obstacle I overcome, I gain more faith in myself. At times it is hard, and darkness seems to press all around. It makes motivation nearly impossible, and inspiration even more so.

But that is the thing. Too often we wait for inspiration, for that ‘click’ and knowing exactly what to write. It is a mistake I often make. But through methods such as NaNoWriMo, we are forced to push ourselves. I kept writing, even when I hated myself and my words and… well, everything. I just kept telling myself that it was only a draft, and it did not need to be perfect the first time around. I can’t wait until I finish the draft, because I have been imagining the ending for so long. I am also rewarding myself with some over-priced bluetooth earphones because I need motivation.

“The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”

– Sylvia Plath

So, wish me luck, and I wish you all luck. Because we can do it, all of us.